2/22/12

haze

Today was covered in a grey haze. I'm sure you know it. It's the haze that lingers when someone passes away. Sometimes you'll move your hand really fast back and forth and you think you've cleared it out of the way, only to see it move back into place. Each time the haze appears you remember the last time it was around. How you panicked when it was too heavy to breathe. How you felt hopeless in a moment when you couldn't see past it. Now every time the haze comes around it brings with it memories and a familiarity of previous appearances. To experience one haze is to remember them all.

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Today was covered in a grey haze, but life had to keep going. As I was driving home tonight after a meeting that brought me 1% closer to returning to campus, I realized I was singing along with the song playing in my car. It was hopeful. I was hopeful - I was celebrating the 1%. In that moment I felt God tell me "You can celebrate today." I can? In the haze? Yeah, I can. And I will. Because someone who was loved here on earth is still loved, just in a different location. And he's celebrating, too.

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