Reading this post from this website (which is great, by the way) was yet another solid reminder for me.
You may or may not know this, but insecurity is a big part of my story. Insecurities ran my life for as long as I can remember. Until, that is, something clicked. Slowly but surely, I started letting God, instead of my insecurities, rule my life.
This is a success story, I promise. But to be honest, I'm not 100% better now. In fact, sometimes I come very close to slipping back into the deadly spirals of self-deprecation and hatred. Shutting down completely is soooo tempting, these days especially. The only thing I can do to keep from falling backwards is to cry out to God. Cry out to him to hold me up. He is a wonderful, faithful, gracious God.
Despite the continuous struggle, can I tell you that where God has brought me today is truly a miracle compared to where I used to be? Sometimes I forget what that was like. Most of the time I block out the memories of total frustration from loathing myself, or the memories of tears and wanting to believe what people told me, but knowing that I could never value myself the way they valued me. When I remember where I have been, I also remember how God faithful God has been over the years. I am so thankful that he has chosen me to be his own, and that this gaping hole in my heart is filled in him. Ah! Not to mention when I get distracted or get off track, he loves me enough to do what he has to do to get me back on track.
What a great God =]