I was on my way. Trying to figure out if this was a good idea. Is this really something God wants? Or something I want? If it's something I want then why am I so scared? If it's something God wants then why isn't he giving me the extra confidence I need? This can't be right.
One street away. I turn the other direction. I just need to drive a little.
One street away again, this time I turn back home.
No relief. Just sadness. Just insecurity. Just fear.
Back to the main highway. Waiting for the green arrow to head home.
"You can let your insecurities decide this one for you - you can let them win. But Christ has set you free. You don't have to live in the bondage of your fear anymore."
I am free, I am free, I am free. Fear has no power over me, I am free.
I turn around. Again.
Jesus has set me free. I will live in this freedom.
One street away. This time I turn to my destination. Trusting God and asking him to make it all okay. Park the car. Deep breath. Another deep breath. Maybe a few more.
It was a long walk up to the front door, but a short one back to my car hours later. Somewhere in between those two walks, one long and one short, God provided.
Or was his provision in the turn around? Or was it there all along, in making the decision to follow his lead and live in his freedom?